Log #1: Big Game Hunting on Valentines Day

It's that time of year again folks... The time when every single man and woman is forced to reconsider their plans of living alone with their hundreds of cats. The time I personally like to call...

Valentines Day.

Oh yes. It's most definitely here. How unfortunate if you had forgotten it. I mean how could you forget that awful day during the year when even the calendar has something negative to say about your life. I mean what other day has this kind of potential for such psychological trauma? All you people with lovers are going to have a great day. (Or So you hope.) But the rest of us will become one of the following. One of the "Heartbroken" or "Loveless". (Noticed how I carefully avoided saying "Heartless")

Because we all know that you are heartbroken and single.

Or at least sitting by yourself watching Twilight

Yes It's sad. But it's the uninspiring truth. Don't despair however. Valentines day is like any other day. Except for the fact that every single couple in the universe feels free to come out of their closets of secrecy. Oh, and all the stores are constantly advertising on  tv and radio about this madness! Not to mention every public school system bombarding you with some of their favorite "get-rich-quick schemes".
How's is a "heartbroken" or "loveless" to survive? As far as I know, you've only got two options.

You can:

1) Sit around and cry. Just like you did every year you were single.

OR

2) Go outside for some big game hunting!

All of you picking option 1. Shame on you. You can't get "game" if you're going to be "lame". So grab your coat and get outside! That's where all the good game's at. And word to the wise. My metaphor of: 

"Big Game" does not mean it's okay to grab your gun; and prepare to utilize your "concealed weapons permit". 

Uh No. Not that kind of "big game".

Put your jacket on.Blast "Sexy and I Know It" for a confidence boost. Double-check to make sure your gun is at home. All Set? Good. Now let the hunt begin. You probably can't see any women from your front porch. Or at least most of you can't. For some, your journey ends here mainly because you can already spot "Miss Williams" hot daughter sunbathing in this winter weather. We bid you farewell gentlemen; unless she isn't single. As for the rest of us. Our quest goes on!

Some nice spots to go hunting are: School. (Duh! It's Tuesday!), The Park. (Girl's seem to coalesce there around here.), A Bookstore. (Girls read! Who knew?), McDonald's. (Girl's got to eat too.) or the Gym. (Because Girl's regret eating.)

But once you've spotted said female (or male for that matter depending on which way you lean, or which sex you are) What do you do now? Looks like It's time for a quiz.

 The first thing you do upon approaching a member of the opposite sex is?.... 

A) Grab their Ass?

B) Hand them that love letter you've been holding all year?
C) Nothing,  you're gay.

OR

D) Talk to Them?

All of you who chose "A". This whole "big game hunt" might be an issue for you seeing that you're a sexual predator. That and the fact that you probably didn't leave your gun at home.

If you chose B, the letter better be artfully written. Because this middle school tactic of getting them to circle "yes" or "no" isn't going to work. And finally if you chose C.. Well I don't know what to say.. Change the question to same sex and try again?
If you didn't choose A, B or C; you're probably smiling your ass off. Because as you might have guessed. "D" was the correct answer. Because ultimately if you're going to be in a relationship you will have to communicate. So even if choices "A" or "B" somehow worked out; you would have to use "D" to keep them. So why shouldn't we start out with "D"? You've already made it this far. Let's hope you've got something better to say than a cheesy pickup line. Unless your line is clever or you know the girl digs that kind of thing. Like this might be cute at Game Stop to a chick buying the latest Pokemon.

HM = Help Move. Still don't get it? Play Pokemon. or better yet; poke a nerd.

If your pickup line fails however, just play it off. Or better yet; run. I've found the faster that you can knock out their Pokemon and befriend them, the faster you'll score their phone number. (Just like Pokemon!) Hopefully you'll have some luck this Valentines day with my outlandish advise.. Or just at least get a good laugh out of it.
Just for future reference; I plan to throw these "Log's" into the Bonfire every Tuesday and Friday. (Because that gives you a reason to live through Monday AND makes the best day of the week even better!) Though today's topic was a bit goofy, I plan to address a few more serious topics in the future. Friday's topic following the theme of valentines day will showcase me showing you the differences between "Love and Lust" with even more grammar mistakes and pictures! If you like my blog, don't be loser; comment and become a member! And if you hate it..... Become a member and troll me. I'll be sure to roll out more things you despise in the future.
Anyways, Happy Single's Awareness Day everyone! Oh.. er I meant Valentines Day! Be sure to tell me of your exploits! I'd love to pretend I care about how much ass you got! Really I would!