Log #7: The Science of Crushing and Flirting (by Anjili Sladen)

            Some men just want to watch the world burn…PAH. That’s sexist. Some women want to watch it burn, too. That’s right people, it is I, Anjili Sladen, guest blogging because I never have and I want to try it out. This is a little something that I have been working on, it isn’t very good, but I think it gets the point across. Things will go back to normal next time, Chase will offer his sometimes sexist but interesting opinion on another subject. So here goes.

            You know that feeling. The feeling when you see that person and you want to run. The moment when you realize that this person is the only object of your affection, even though they don’t give you a second look. That moment when you stop shooing away the scenarios in your head of what it would be like to date.

            You think it’s true love? Wrong. That is simply what science calls infatuation, and what you call a crush. Throughout history, teenagers are forced to go through the utter and complete horror of growing up, and have to reinvent the wheel of love and relationships. No more, I say. Thanks to Howstuffworks.com and the research of Helen Fisher, I have learned everything I can about the science of attraction, and will explain it in layman terms. First, the signs of a crush.

I.  OMG SO HOT

            We all know we crush, but why? Research says we can find the answer in a dirty T shirt. Women tend to be attracted to men who are genetically dissimilar to themselves, creating genetic diversity in their offspring. Scientists believe that women can smell genetic diversity in a man’s natural odor. If a guy wants true compatibility, he will not cover up his scent with chemicals. This also explains why opposites attract genetically, though personally there is no evidence to show that all smart people fall in love with not so smart people.

            Appearance, though I say this reluctantly, also plays a role. We tend to be attracted to people who look like our parents or other role models in our lives. (I must interject, not many girls gush about a guy by saying OMG he looks SO MUCH like my dad it’s SO HOT) Many crushes are influenced by the image of beauty, though this is their fault for being insecure.

            Now that we have spotted and sniffed the most genetically diverse person of interest, our brains start to get in the picture. (NOTE: these next paragraph will be filled with SCIENCE! so watch out) My favorite hormones, the monoamines, are responsible for this. Monoamines are the collective names of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. The first, and most important chemical is our best friend dopamine. Dopamine is the happy chemical, part of the reward system. Dopamine is the reason why we can be “blissfully in love”. Next, the chemical that locks onto your partner of choice is norepinephrine. Norepinephrine is what makes you all sweaty and such, as it is related to adrenaline, which spurs on the fight or flight reflex.

*PERSONAL BIT LOL*

because no science lecture is complete without a diagram!

            I once had a crush on this guy, and he was in almost all of my classes. Every single time I saw him my anxiety kicked in. I am an incredibly anxious person, so every time I saw this person I would start sweating, breathing fast and I’d want to run. So I did. My fight or flight reflex leans a lot to flight usually. I’m paranoid like that. However, no matter how scared I got, the second I ran I wanted to be near him again. The effect here is similar to an adrenaline junkie. The rush is addicting, and it makes you long for the other person. (Things did turn into a relationship, but it ended early, but hey, it's high school.).

            Lastly, we have sleepy serotonin…the mellow hormone. Serotonin keeps you calm, and guess what? That flies out of the window when you are crushing. Your heart races and everything gets fuzzy and panicky. You know that you will do whatever is in your power to learn more about them, and so we move on to that joy, that pastime, that mystery: Flirting.

yes, I can choose appropriate memes too.

II. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn’t change a thing, it would confuse everyone.

            I’ll tell you the truth, I don’t know much about flirting, except for the science of it. I’m only going on some interviews I conducted, and some online science studies. From what I can tell, flirting boils back down to genetics. It’s all about showing that you have the genetic qualities that would make you suitable for mating. Both genders suck in their stomachs and puff out their chests, girls swing their hips, all these things say I’M A GOOD PARENT. When I (unsuccessfully) attempt to flirt, I widen my eyes. I believe this is to show superior eyesight. Either that, or I was trying to distract from my freckles.

"Hi. How are you."

Our old friend fight or flight comes back now, this time forcing us to govern completely on instinct. If we flirted with our rational brain, we would just say “Hi. How are you.”, like in that one episode of Spongebob (yeah science girl watches Spongebob

While we are on the topic of flirting, let’s look back to the golden years of modesty and chivalry: the Victorian times. Ah, the days of corsets, top hats, and general coolness. Back then, the sign language of flirting was an art, if not a science. Lacking cell phones, girls found a new way to communicate secretly. Girls became a communication army, armed with fans, gloves, petticoats and bonnets. The appealing now is nothing like the appealing back then. To quote John Green, Nerdfighter, “If you asked a boy from the 18^th century whether he would want to marry a girl with plastic bags inserted into her, he would be like… `what’s plastic?’” Boys merely had to watch for a pair of eyes to lock on his, watch the fan, and a meeting time and place was set up.

it's like text speak...except no electricity required!

Tangent. Sorry.

As a girl, let me give you some advice about flirting. Girls take compliments with a grain of salt, but insults are never forgotten. Do not under any circumstances be mean to her at all. Also, don’t believe what they say about the friendzone. Being a girl’s best friend is a great way to her heart. Learn to love her worst side, and if she likes someone else, it probably won’t last long, just help her through it. Lastly, don’t be afraid to tell her. At the high school age girls’ self-esteem is especially low, so any affection, even if unreciprocated, is awesome for her.

So, that is my attempt at a Log…lemme know what you think in the down theres. DFTBA!

Did your beloved author die?



Hah. I'm in for getting one too many C's.

As you might have guessed...

The life of a teenage blogger is hard.

Due to unforeseen glitches in my academic programming algorithm, my parental units have decided to imply a new patch in my daily software routine to promote productivity and relative success.

In short. I'm grounded.

I'll get new logs out as soon as I'm off punishment guys, And I'll be sure to tell you when. Until then; bear with me. And don't hate my folks lol.. It's my fault. ;P

OH! And happy international women's day. Just saw it on google.

Log #6: Battle of the Sexes (Part 3 of 3)

Greetings. Happy Saturday. Time for another classic log! You feeling me? Tuesday I gave my own personal insight on basic female psychology (sorry for making it sound so advanced.. It's easier than saying "I took some shots in the dark on how I believe that females think"). Today I'm going to show why each sex has it's own "predetermined" social roles and why they're changing today.

If you love 80%, then why don't we just round it already? ;)

From the beginning of time; men and women have relied on each other. Before we obtained our considerably advanced knowledge that we all know today; things were very simple. There's no point in questioning the mysteries of cold fusion and black holes while your very existence is at stake. So to make things simple; cavemen, indian tribes and basic civilizations had the men and women do what they were good at.

As we touched on briefly in previous logs, different core values help determine the behavior of both sexes! So while women were for the most part non-confrontational men were the exact opposite. In order for a man to maintain power and stability in his tribe/posse he would have to be the hardest, toughest muthaluver out there.

Meme's can't always be 100% relevant!

So the men were placed in charge of leading/protecting essentially the elderly, the youth, and the women. This automatically placed disdain on the women, because though taking care of the children +elderly was an important job, it didn't seem specifically relevant to everyday life. Especially when said elderly die, and said children grow up to nurture or protect their loved ones. As the generations passed by, and defending the posse became more difficult as enemies became more numerous and powerful these negative tensions towards women grew even more powerful.

This might lead you to question that why such tensions would remain even today? However, if you pay close attention you'll notice that across the year's as more jobs were discovered and a civilizations needs grew men's role was constantly expanded; leaving the men with a feeling of superiority when compared to the meager role of the women. Because not only were the men expected to continue to fulfill the warrior role of society, they were expected to be anything from farmers, to bankers. to kings, to merchants, to sailors, to husbands, to builders, to.... I think you get it by now.

Seeing that I've stated the obvious I'll generalize the rest. Women got bored, Women got jealous but most importantly; Women hated feeling inferior. And that's the most important factor that led to the fight for women's equality. Women wormed their way into all corners of the work force and into schools. Oddly enough this only strengthened tensions because that sense of inferiority is still around today.

Your Woman doesn't need protecting. She's "Independent" now.

 So basically that being said; they'll never be an end to sexism because of this culturally forced inferiority. The inferiority derives from chivalry. Chivalry basically is the excuse as to why women shouldn't have all these rights. Just the "let-the-men-handle-it" mentality that's been ingrained in everyone pretty much since men were declared the warriors of society. The warrior/soldier role will always be dedicated to men because they built it and have held it for so long, and honestly is the reason while sexism will continue to inherently exist.Because essentially the most important thing on this earth besides the people who put food in your mouth, is the people who keep you from becoming food (or dead). So as long as men dominate the most important job in the world.... Sexism will never die.

 I think this syncs up with Carl Jungs Theory of Collective Unconscious? (Basically Pre-learned things that are passed on through each generation through the human race... Er, you should probably just look it up.) But that's all I think I was supposed to touch on this log. Sorry if it came across like an essay, but that's just how it came through my mind. It's come to me that it's most likely going to be problematic posting log's on Friday as you might have guessed. So I think I'll just start posting them Saturday. Anyways, that being said; As requested the next log will be on relationships! (Finally! One I can really have fun with. ;D ) Be sure to check it out. I don't think It'll be something to miss.

Log #5: Battle of the Sexes (Part 2 of 3)

So Saturday I gave some insight on the male perspective, now it's time for me to attempt the very complicated, very mysterious, female perspective.

Because you're hot and you're cold.

 Okay forgive me ladies. I'm short on time, and I couldn't find many resources about you online. You socially clandestine miscreants, you. ;D So I'm going to give this a shot from the recesses of my mind and the things I've noticed and experienced. Women can be broken down into a few core categories.

Beauty

Or at least.. That's what you wish would happen.

I've always asked myself.. Why the heck do girl's dress up? Especially at School. I mean, guy's are into you looking nice.. But you can pretty much win over any guy with a V neck shirt or yoga pants. So why do they try to look so good?
Social status. It's all about social status. The desire to be noticed. If men gauge each other by strength and respectability, women judge each other by looks first. Because honestly, who wants to hang out with someone who looks like crap? It makes your taste in clothes and friends look worse.
Girl's who dress nice seem to hang around with girl's who dress up seem to be more popular than those who don't. I've seen this all around school. In short, I believe that girl's dress up for girl's first; then guys. This also explains why women can take so long to get ready in the morning...

Empathy

 

Empathy, As defined by Merriam Webster's online dictionary is: " the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience"

This basically means you can feel other people's pain. Woman are more empathetic than men, it's true because they tend to think about how their actions might effect someone else. For example, if someone made really sour lemonade for you but thought it was the best thing ever, a girl would be more likely to receive it politely and say something like: "It was good.. But I think It'd be better with more sugar." This makes girl's naturally more diplomatic than boys. And also makes them less-confrontational.

Pacifist

  

Women for the most part seem non-confrontational. Which more often than not leads to their downfall everywhere. They act too empathetic often enough to the point of indecision. This is often seen in the classic "girl-in-an-abusive-relationship scenario". Oh.. He's not abusing me.. He's just going through something right now.. Oh he didn't mean to hit me.. He'd never do it again.. When it comes down to it, typically women won't fight back. Maybe it's because they're afraid of getting hurt? Because if they're facing a man typically the man will be stronger. 

But often enough this is even seen in social situations.. Women fear hurting someone elses' feelings so much sometimes that they just end up hurting themselves.. I've seen this too many times to not believe that this is true.

While this might not have been my longest log, I believe it was a good shot at trying to determine the female perspective. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about anything. I'd love your input. Friday, I shall conclude the "Battle of the Sexes" mini-series with "Comparison" and how these factors influence direct comparison.

 

Log #4: Battle of the Sexes: (Part 1 of 3)

And that's why this log isn't on time..

 But seriously, I'm a bit late. But the week's been stressful. Anyway you're not here to hear me babble.. (Actually you are. ;D) But let's get started.

As I stated Tuesday, A lot of the reasons women get degraded derive from comparison. Unfair comparison at that. But why is it so essential to compare?.. Most of the time because of modern context; it's not. But we still do it anyway because let's face it.. Who doesn't like to say that they're better? I know that even I for one love feeling just a little superior. But let's compare the sexes, I'll mix things up a bit and let the men go first for once. (How chivalrous of me ;D. Oh and I'm sorry. When I text AND blog I tend to use a lot more emoticons.)

In the beginning... GOD. MADE. MAN. (Chill. I'm not going on a religious rant. ;D)

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Ah. The Man's perspective. An attitude so damaging and dangerous even it's chromosomes ask Y. What's the point in trying to live up to an ideal of manliness? Why can't you back down from the fight his girlfriend/imaginary friend says. Why can't you take being called a [insert females genitalia]? Because we're men dammit! 

While I always tell the females that in order to understand a man's view of the world you've got to think simple. Because typically their isn't complex reasoning. But when you want to understand the way of the male... (Not UPS. >.>) You've got to understand the core reasons for all of his actions. Let's start with one of the most important things about men.

Respect.

This may seem like a little word to some, but to men it can mean everything. That's why he can't just sit their and be called any little thing and not cringe. That's why a man's always tempted to do a dare. And that's one of the reason we fight. Even when it comes to global affairs, respect is a a big deal. Respect as defined by ME. Is to recognize a person's qualities and realize them as legitimate. When this doesn't happen conflict occurs. This is seen on a universal level and is only highlighted in men because of it's tendency to reach violence or hostility. But respect means everything to a man. Because while all men might not like each other, they still want to hold a certain social standing, an honor if you will among men.

Strength

Uh. I was thinking a more physical strength.

Guys gauge each other based on physical strength when seeing each other most of the time. Hence the firm handshakes, punches, etc. Any guy who's been asked what the capital of "Thailand" by one of his friends should know this... (It's bangkok ladies.) Not only does this help determine how much we respect a guy, it also helps us level him up against ourselves. It's oddly gratifying to be around  people like you I guess. Hence why the jocks tend to stay together. They're friends and the bonds of strength and respect have already been built.
This may be a bit too vague but it's one of the reasons why women fall victim to comparison. Because Men always are gauging their strengths with each other, women throw that dynamic off and make them harder to respect. Because when it comes down to it; subconsciously men tend to think that without "strength" a person isn't respectable.

Yes.. Yes we do.

Chick Magnet

This is the best word I could come up with to think of this last quality. A guys social success is often defined by how many women he has. (Or how many are interested in him.) If he's attracted a myriad of women well you can say he's going to be a pretty popular guy. This is why in ancient times how many wives a man had helped indicate his social status. Polygamy eventually got frowned upon though because I doubt anyone truly desires to be herded up and used like cattle.

Uh.. Not that kind of chick.

Leadership

This quality walks hand in hand with strength. Mainly because it takes strength to exercise leadership. Men like to dominate, and look up to other men that can dominate well. Hence the testosterone rush when we're watching those war movies and the officers lead their men into battle, and make impossible decisions that end up saving the day. Those qualities are attractive to men because we have the inward desire to lead, even if it's in a small and less extravagant way.

These are some of the core values that help define a man. Tuesday I will ATTEMPT to find out the women's perspective,  and then on friday I will do the full comparison. Making this a 3-part (Trilogy Log) if you will in it's entirety! Hopefully you've found this late, and a bit weak log at least slightly entertaining and mildly informative. The Next log will be better and on time. I promise. :P

Thought that pic may help set the tone for next week. Metroids a girl, just in case you non-gamer's didn't know. And if you don't know what Metroid is... Uh that robot is metroid.