Log #7: The Science of Crushing and Flirting (by Anjili Sladen)

            Some men just want to watch the world burn…PAH. That’s sexist. Some women want to watch it burn, too. That’s right people, it is I, Anjili Sladen, guest blogging because I never have and I want to try it out. This is a little something that I have been working on, it isn’t very good, but I think it gets the point across. Things will go back to normal next time, Chase will offer his sometimes sexist but interesting opinion on another subject. So here goes.

            You know that feeling. The feeling when you see that person and you want to run. The moment when you realize that this person is the only object of your affection, even though they don’t give you a second look. That moment when you stop shooing away the scenarios in your head of what it would be like to date.

            You think it’s true love? Wrong. That is simply what science calls infatuation, and what you call a crush. Throughout history, teenagers are forced to go through the utter and complete horror of growing up, and have to reinvent the wheel of love and relationships. No more, I say. Thanks to Howstuffworks.com and the research of Helen Fisher, I have learned everything I can about the science of attraction, and will explain it in layman terms. First, the signs of a crush.

I.  OMG SO HOT

            We all know we crush, but why? Research says we can find the answer in a dirty T shirt. Women tend to be attracted to men who are genetically dissimilar to themselves, creating genetic diversity in their offspring. Scientists believe that women can smell genetic diversity in a man’s natural odor. If a guy wants true compatibility, he will not cover up his scent with chemicals. This also explains why opposites attract genetically, though personally there is no evidence to show that all smart people fall in love with not so smart people.

            Appearance, though I say this reluctantly, also plays a role. We tend to be attracted to people who look like our parents or other role models in our lives. (I must interject, not many girls gush about a guy by saying OMG he looks SO MUCH like my dad it’s SO HOT) Many crushes are influenced by the image of beauty, though this is their fault for being insecure.

            Now that we have spotted and sniffed the most genetically diverse person of interest, our brains start to get in the picture. (NOTE: these next paragraph will be filled with SCIENCE! so watch out) My favorite hormones, the monoamines, are responsible for this. Monoamines are the collective names of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. The first, and most important chemical is our best friend dopamine. Dopamine is the happy chemical, part of the reward system. Dopamine is the reason why we can be “blissfully in love”. Next, the chemical that locks onto your partner of choice is norepinephrine. Norepinephrine is what makes you all sweaty and such, as it is related to adrenaline, which spurs on the fight or flight reflex.

*PERSONAL BIT LOL*

because no science lecture is complete without a diagram!

            I once had a crush on this guy, and he was in almost all of my classes. Every single time I saw him my anxiety kicked in. I am an incredibly anxious person, so every time I saw this person I would start sweating, breathing fast and I’d want to run. So I did. My fight or flight reflex leans a lot to flight usually. I’m paranoid like that. However, no matter how scared I got, the second I ran I wanted to be near him again. The effect here is similar to an adrenaline junkie. The rush is addicting, and it makes you long for the other person. (Things did turn into a relationship, but it ended early, but hey, it's high school.).

            Lastly, we have sleepy serotonin…the mellow hormone. Serotonin keeps you calm, and guess what? That flies out of the window when you are crushing. Your heart races and everything gets fuzzy and panicky. You know that you will do whatever is in your power to learn more about them, and so we move on to that joy, that pastime, that mystery: Flirting.

yes, I can choose appropriate memes too.

II. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn’t change a thing, it would confuse everyone.

            I’ll tell you the truth, I don’t know much about flirting, except for the science of it. I’m only going on some interviews I conducted, and some online science studies. From what I can tell, flirting boils back down to genetics. It’s all about showing that you have the genetic qualities that would make you suitable for mating. Both genders suck in their stomachs and puff out their chests, girls swing their hips, all these things say I’M A GOOD PARENT. When I (unsuccessfully) attempt to flirt, I widen my eyes. I believe this is to show superior eyesight. Either that, or I was trying to distract from my freckles.

"Hi. How are you."

Our old friend fight or flight comes back now, this time forcing us to govern completely on instinct. If we flirted with our rational brain, we would just say “Hi. How are you.”, like in that one episode of Spongebob (yeah science girl watches Spongebob

While we are on the topic of flirting, let’s look back to the golden years of modesty and chivalry: the Victorian times. Ah, the days of corsets, top hats, and general coolness. Back then, the sign language of flirting was an art, if not a science. Lacking cell phones, girls found a new way to communicate secretly. Girls became a communication army, armed with fans, gloves, petticoats and bonnets. The appealing now is nothing like the appealing back then. To quote John Green, Nerdfighter, “If you asked a boy from the 18^th century whether he would want to marry a girl with plastic bags inserted into her, he would be like… `what’s plastic?’” Boys merely had to watch for a pair of eyes to lock on his, watch the fan, and a meeting time and place was set up.

it's like text speak...except no electricity required!

Tangent. Sorry.

As a girl, let me give you some advice about flirting. Girls take compliments with a grain of salt, but insults are never forgotten. Do not under any circumstances be mean to her at all. Also, don’t believe what they say about the friendzone. Being a girl’s best friend is a great way to her heart. Learn to love her worst side, and if she likes someone else, it probably won’t last long, just help her through it. Lastly, don’t be afraid to tell her. At the high school age girls’ self-esteem is especially low, so any affection, even if unreciprocated, is awesome for her.

So, that is my attempt at a Log…lemme know what you think in the down theres. DFTBA!